Let's all agree unanimously on something here:
Everybody has a love-hate relationship with love.
Like a typical "ride or die" relationship, we have our ups and downs in the field of love. You come across someone who is either not ready to settle down or somebody who's moving way too fast to the point where you're turned off. No matter how left or right things go for you with love, you're always going to desire the feeling in the end (once you get past the infamous "ho-stage").
Now you may be wondering from the title of this post, "How can somebody hate the day of love?" Well, to answer your question, I always hated Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day has been a rigorous L that I have taken since I've expressed the slightest crush on a boy when I was six. To say the least, Valentine's Day has FAILED me.
I can give you three examples off rip as to why I have beef with Cupid:
#1: Valentine's Day, Freshman Year of HS: My lil boo at the time left me to ask out a girl that he told me not to worry about...ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Did I forget to mention that was the same day of our six month anniversary?
#2: Days Before Valentine's Day, Junior Year of HS: New lil boo. Dude told me he cheated on me days before Valentine's Day, showed me the side chicks in his phone and on Facebook (I'm from Brooklyn. We still use Facebook faithfully; don't judge me.), and let me ride home in the rain CRYING AND BY MYSELF. To top it all off, he texted me telling ME that we needed a break. Broke up with me until after Valentine's Day (like bro, if you was broke...just say something.)
#3: Valentine's Day, Freshman Year of College: I'm single....Like "Fabolous in Situationship Single." LOL.
As you can see, I don't have the best of luck with Valentine's Day. However, as we close in on the countdown to Judgment Day itself, I got some keys to drop on y'all. Starting off, I'm not anticipating a bad Valentine's Day this year because I learned a crap ton about love in the past couple months. In a bit of self-reflection, I realized where I was going wrong in my situationship with love and where somebody like myself may be going wrong as well.
First of all, you need to learn how to be ALONE. That word scares a lot of us, especially those who don't know how to be alone. Don't always equate alone with loneliness. Alone, in this sense, means that you can provide your own happiness while allowing a significant other or friends to boost it. Alone means that you don't seek dependency or "a crutch"; however, there is NOTHING wrong with that. It's still good to learn how to be comfortable and bring out your best self.
Second of all, LOVE YOURSELF. You cannot be out here losing yourself in someone because you don't even know who you are. When you don't love yourself and know your worth, you will lose your control. The most manipulative lovers will prey on this loss of control and before you know it, you're emotionally damaged. I guess you can tell that I must know a lot about this. That's a story for another time. You can't love somebody until you love yourself, so keep in mind that you must retain control over your mental and physical bodies.
Third, DON'T LET LOVE BE A DISTRACTION. When you love someone, they're supposed to help you level up. A man or woman who loves truly you won't let you be stagnant in your growth. Stop letting stagnant energies contaminate the process of your growth. I have personally experienced as well as witnessed people allow "human leeches" to attach to our bodies and drain us of our worth and potential. You may have a lot going for yourself right now; you might have just secured the internship/job of your dreams, might have found a new niche you're ready to take on. Like my momma used to tell me, "Find somebody who's on your level or above it."
Fourth, THE "HO-STAGE" IS OKAY! If you're not ready to settle down with just one and you like the options you got, then it's okay! Love is patient and relatively kind, so you have time to pace yourself and go through trial and error with people. However, don't be one of those "human leeches" I spoke about prior to this key. What I mean by that is, don't waste nobody's time because you were just exploring your options. Be upfront about it with your partner, so they know what it's about to be. Another thing, don't become a hostage to the "ho-stage". Don't think that the trial and error stage with different people will guarantee you an unhappy life. Knowing what you want is always top priority before entering a relationship or a situation.
Lastly, IT'S OKAY TO BE SINGLE ON VALENTINE'S DAY. Don't let social media posts get to you and make you feel that you have to pursue a relationship in time for Valentine's Day. In the world we live in now, Valentine's Day has become a social competition to prove who's relationship isn't visibly falling apart or who has enough cash to go to [insert expensive location here] for a baecation. Stay in your own lane—find somebody who can make you feel like you're in paradise, not only during a baecation.
I guess you can tell, I know what that feels like nowadays too. I don't know about y'all though, but I definitely have high hopes for this day.
Stay locked in, y'all.
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